I thought this might have some amusement value, if nothing else...
It must have taken a bit of research to optimize this tool.
Bonnie Scott
Prodigy Services Corp.
Forwarded message:
> From: Entrepreneur Weekly <eweekly@eweekly.com>
> Reply-To: news@eweekly.com
> To: eweekly@diehard.cyberconinc.com
> Subject: How to get listed #1 on all search engines
>
> A Special Offer From Entrepreneur Weekly
>
>
> Would you like to know the secret to having your site listed #1 on all
> of the major search engines?
>
> If you said, "YES!", then this is going to be the most exciting article
> you have ever read.
>
> Because I am going to tell you, step-by-step, how you can literally
> sky-rocket your sales and profits by having thousand of potential
> customers visit your site each week. Every business is virtually a
> numbers game. Increase the numbers of visitors to your store, and
> you sell more. Plain and simple. It's no different on the Internet
> than it is in your community.
>
> So how does a business, probably with very limited resources, get
> visitors to their site. The cheapest way, absolutely FREE, is to
> get visitors from search engines! Businesses who got on the
> Internet early, way back in 1994 and early 1995 were swamped
> with visitors because there was very little competition and their
> sites came up high on the search engines.
>
> Today, with over 16,000 new domain names being registered EACH MONTH
> and even thousands more businesses starting up each month on the
> Internet, it is getting more and more difficult to attract visitors.
> Those early businesses probably aren't even listed in the top 300
> sites anymore. Many are buried deep down at number 10,479 on the list.
>
> Will people find YOUR site if it is listed even as high as 300 on
> the list?
>
> Probably not.
>
> You CAN'T SURVIVE if you are not listed well on search engines!
>
> That's why we are so proud to introduce, what is bound to be the most
> revolutionary software product designed to help businesses get noticed.
> This software will help you to improve your listings in EVERY search
> engine that is available now AND those that come out in the future.
>
> It will allow you to attract visitors to your site that simply
>
> NEVER FOUND YOU BEFORE!
>
> How does this amazing software work?
>
> Simple. When search engines go to your site to index your site in their
> database, our software recognizes them and gives them a DIFFERENT page
> than you want your customers to see! When your customers visit, however,
> it sends them to the most beautiful page that you can create for them.
> No longer are you PENALIZED by search engines for having a graphic logo
> at the top of your page or many other things that they penalize most
> sites for!
>
> One of the most amazing thing about this program, is that it gives you
> the power to design a different page for EACH SEARCH ENGINE to read,
> thus greatly improving your chances of getting listed on the top of
> every one.
>
> You see, not all search engines are created equal. Some look for text
> primarily in the title and the first paragraph of your web page. Others
> look at your whole web page and rank your site with a sort of artificial
> intelligence. A web page that could get you listed #1 on lets say Lycos,
> would probably ruin your chance of getting a great listing on Excite or
> Open Text Search Engines. In fact, a page that ranks your site very high
> on one search engine will absolutely RUIN your chance of getting a good
> listing on another.
>
> This means you make a choice as to which search engines you want a good
> listing in, and have to live with the consequences of not having your
> site listed well in a different search engine.
>
> This means in simple language, THAT YOU ARE LOSING THOUSANDS OF VISITORS
> A MONTH from Every Search Engine that your site isn't listed high on
> their list!
>
> To us, this is SIMPLY UNACCEPTABLE!
>
> That's why we created the Xtreme Web Site Commander. With 6 applications
> all in one, it can do everything from getting your site listed highest
> on all the major search engines to giving you the most complete and
> easiest to use web statistics available on the Internet today plus much
> more.
>
> For the first time in Internet history, web developers are able to
> create excellent looking web pages which are not penalized by search
> engines. For anyone who has created a wonderful web site with content
> that truly deserves tons of visitors, who then registered the site on
> search engines and disappointedly found their site listed 2,474, this
> is the reason why!
>
> Search engines look for 'words' and they have to be in the 'right' place
> on your pages. Most sites open with graphics. They are immediately at a
> disadvantage! Xtreme Web Site Commander solves this major problem by
> sending search engines to a DIFFERENT page than your customers see!
> Therefore, you get the highest possible listings. Using our research on
> how each search engine lists its site, you can setup a separate page for
> each search engine because they all index your pages differently!
>
> Every search engine has different criteria for ranking web sites. While
> your site may appear on the first page with one of them, it most
> certainly will appear near the bottom on another search engine. For the
> first time in history, you can control what each search engine sees and
> therefore get the highest possible listing on EVERY search engine WHILE
> giving your "human visitors", no matter what browser they use, the page
> you want them to see!
>
> These are the 6 benefits of using this software:
>
> 1) Search Engine Maximizer
>
> Enhance the listing of your site on every search engine on the net.
> Xtreme Website Commander gives YOU the power to control what every
> search engine sees by building custom pages for each search engine
> and giving your 'human visitors' the pages you intend for them to see.
>
> 2) Complete and Easy to Understand Web Statistics
>
> Xtreme Web Site Commander gives you all the stats you need to analyze
> your site and gives you the option to view them the way YOU want to.
> Say goodbye to complicated, unreadable and 50 page long stat reports
> that make your job harder and more time consuming. Xtreme Web Site
> Commander tells you exactly how many visitors came to each of your
> pages, which web browser they used, and where they came to your site
> from!
>
> This program will even allow you to find out what search terms they
> used to find your site! You can go right to the search engine they
> used with just 1 click of your button, and see for yourself exactly
> what search words they used. Then, go back to your site and see if
> you can incorporate more of those search words into your site and
> improve your listing!
>
> It is so easy to use this powerful software to improve your search
> listing and drastically increase the visitors to your site. Even if
> you only have 5 or 6 visitors a day or fewer, you can quickly and
> easily increase your web visitors to more than a thousand per day in
> less than one month.
>
> We are so certain of this, that we are offering a 30 Day Unconditional
> Money Back Guarantee + $100 if our software doesn't substantially
> improve your search listing! So go ahead and see for yourself.
>
> 3) Maximize the web experience of all of your customers no matter what
> browser they use
>
> You can create custom web sites based on which browser your customers
> use. This enables you to create cutting edge sites for the latest
> browsers without the fear of alienating customers who use old browsers.
>
> 4) Create custom web pages for visitors that come from multiple sites
>
> This feature gives you the ability to create a custom web page for
> visitors coming from a particular site. Although this feature has
> never before been offered, creative users can use this powerful
> feature to totally enhance their site.
>
> Would you like to create a different web page for each of your sales
> managers depending on where they are in the country?
>
> Would you like to have a custom page that only will be viewed by people
> who click on your banner ads?
>
> Now these are both easily possible with Xtreme Web Site Commander.
>
> This feature could also have interesting possibilities in the Intranet
> market. For instance, users of your Intranet coming from your Ohio
> office can view a different page than users of your Michigan office.
>
> 5) Advertising Banner Statistics Program
>
> Improve the profits on your site by accepting advertising banners. Now
> you can tell your advertisers how many times people clicked on their
> banner ads and went to their site. This allows you to attract bigger
> advertisers and with the increased web traffic you get because of the
> Search Engine Maximizer, you will retain them much longer.
>
> 6) URL Redirector
>
> Have you ever had the need to redirect users coming to your site to
> another url because of various changes or if you moved your web site?
>
> This is made easily possible with the Xtreme Web Site Commander.
>
>
> S P E C I A L O F F E R
>
> For a Limited Time, You Can Own the
> Xtreme Web Site Commander Software for only $199.95!
>
> PLUS
>
> FREE Installation on your unix web server A $30 Value!!
>
> PLUS
>
> FREE Product Updates for 2 Years! A $350 value!!
>
>
> A total value of $579.95 for only $199.95
>
>
> This Offer Expires On October 10, 1996
>
>
> We are so confident in our product that, if you buy our product,
> follow our instructions and your listing on the search engines
> does not improve, we will not only refund your money, we will
> also give you $100!!!
>
> =====================================================================
>
> Satisfaction Guaranteed
>
> We are so confident in our product that we feature a 30 day
> unconditional money back guarantee. If you are not convinced that our
> Xtreme Web Site Commander software has dramatically improved the
> quality of your Internet business and transformed the way you do
> business on the Internet, simply email or fax us within 30 days of
> receiving it for a prompt refund, no questions asked.
>
> PLUS
>
> If our software doesn't dramatically improve your listings
> in search engines, we not only will refund your money but will
> also GIVE YOU $100!!!
>
> The only thing you have to lose is lost customers and sales by
> NOT purchasing our software.
>
> ======================================================================
>
> Software Requirements:
>
> 1) Telnet access to your unix web server.
> 2) ANSI C compiler - Most unix web hosting servers have this
> 3) Ability to run CGI programs,
>
> Following are reccomended for optimum installation:
> 1) Ability to run CGI programs out of any directory with .cgi prefix.
> 2) Ability to have index.cgi act as the default page for a directory
> (instead of index.hml etc)
>
> REMEMBER: We will install the software for you for FREE if you order before
> October 10, 1996
>
> ======================================================================
> Questions can be sent to software@cybermedia-inc.com
>
> ISP's and Web Hosters, please contact us at isp@cybermedia-inc.com
> to find out about our huge ISP multiple license discounts.
>
> Current Cyber Media web hosting customers. We haven't overlooked you.
> Email us at software@cybermedia-inc.com to find out how you can save
> on using this software!
> ======================================================================
>
> TO ORDER
>
> Go to http://www.cybermedia-inc.com/commander/order/
>
> OR MAIL OR FAX THE ORDER FORM BELOW
>
> Xtreme Web Site Commander $199.95 if ordered before October 10, 1996
> FREE Installation
> FREE Updates for 2 years!
>
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>
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>
> Street Address______________________________________
>
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>
> Phone (__)____________
>
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> __ Visa
> __ Master Charge
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> __ Electronic Check (US Customers Only)
>
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>
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>
> CHECK ORDERS
>
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>
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>
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>
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>
>
> =================================================
>
> You can order online, mail, fax, or email orders
>
>
> Cyber Media Software
> 1933 E. Dublin Granville Rd, Suite 130
> Columbus, OH 43229
> Phone (614) 794-1560
> Internet Fax: (213) 477-2002 The area code is correct
> email : sales@cybermedia-inc.com
>